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| ...we should all just STAB CAESAR! |
Once again, it's Photoshop Friday! And what better way to end the week than with my favorite Mean Girl, Gretchen Weiners. Her dad invented Toaster Strudel, so you better watch your back.
I like Gretchen. She puts up with a lot of crap just to fit in. I mean, her last name is "Weiners" - that's already an uphill battle. Man, if my last name was "Weiners", I'd make a huge joke out of it to draw attention from the fact that my last name is WEINERS. Like, if I had a boyfriend at the time, I'm sure all he'd hear from me is "Haha, you love WEINERS!"
....And that would begin my life as the lonely Cat Lady.
I worry about being a Cat Lady sometimes, mostly because I'm allergic to cats. Doomed from the beginning!
So, change of subject.
If you were to Google this original photo, (if it already isn't really really obvious) it might become even clearer how much more tanned Gretchen Weiners is compared to the other girls. It reminds me of a funny story (well, it's funny now, but at the time it was kind of weird) that happened to me earlier this week. Okay, so I've been going to my university's career center at least once a week since this semester started with like, three different internship documents I've been building/editing since January. Usually, it only takes the workers about 15 minutes to look through my stuff, then tell me what needs improvement, and then sweetly kick me out. But this time, I had this awesome, AWESOME editor named Paul, who helped me for about and hour and a half. Paul was an older man who sure knew his stuff, and I was really happy he offered to help me.
Anyway, we get down to the part of my resume that lists "Skills and Languages", where I have listed I have intermediate proficiency in Spanish - nothing crazy, just listed there. Paul took one good look at it and said to me, "Okay now, let me ask you something. Are you a citizen?"
I didn't know whether to laugh or to grab my things and leave.
I decided to do neither, and just answer the question.
"Ummm... Yes, I'm a citizen."
Paul adjusted his glasses, then went on. "Okay, great. You know, you should list this skill under your education, and put with that your excellent English ability. Employers always wanna make sure they're hiring American citizens, so it'd be good to put up there "American Citizen", you know, just so they know they won't be having any trouble with Visas and things like that."
Woooooow.
Needless to say, I was a little rattled by the conversation, but kept it going until everything was done, and Paul is still the most helpful person who's looked over my stuff, and I wouldn't mind going back to him. Just fyi.
It's just weird to me, that's all; even though my ancestors have been living in Texas for generations and generations (probably longer than a lot of other lighter-skinned folks here), my appearance gives the impression that I'm "not from here". I'm pretty sure someone with a last name like "Smith" or a complexion like Regina George would never have this issue. But it brought up a good point:
Reality.
After talking about what happened with my parents (who couldn't STOP laughing, by the way - they thought it was sooooo hilarious that this actually happened) and some friends, I now see the humor in it. Can you imagine walking up to random people and just saying "So.....you from here? If you are, you should put it on your resume. Looks REAL good on a resume that you're from here." Just picture doing it! Haha!
Truth is, I'd rather look overly tanned like Gretchen Weiners and have my American roots questioned than look like Karen Smith ANY day. It gives me pretty good stories, and those enough are worth the identity crisis. (Italian/Middle-Eastern apple vendor in Rome who tried to flirt and insist I was from "his country"...that includes you!)
So in simple closing, Gretchen Weiners > Lindsay Lohan. Like I said, I like Gretchen. She puts up with a lot of crap just to fit in. I feel ya, Gretch. You alright.
...Except your last name. "Weiners" is dumb.
(Just for fun, here's the "None for Gretchen Weiners" scene. Enjoy!)
