Photoshop Friday Presents: I'm Too Lazy To Be An Olympian

Fly, my pretties! Fly!

So, as everyone in the world probably knows (and might be sick hearing about), the 2012 Olympics have been going on for quite some time now and are finally drawing to a close.  Many Americans earned medals, records were made and broken, dreams were achieved and crushed, and the Queen pretended to jump out of a helicopter with James Bond.  The smell of awesome is in the air! And what better way for a lazy person like me to end the fun of these great Olympic Games than by photoshopping my face onto these hard working athletes? :]

"If you ain't first, you're last."

Many of the competitors in the 2012 games have been training in their field for years, sometimes even their entire lives.  I get exhausted when my dog breathes too fast from moving so much.  With that said, watching these men and women in top-notch condition move their bodies with so much power and achieve the unbelievable kind of makes me feel like an underachieving, lazy, fat person. 

 But at the same time, they make me say, "Geez, I wonder if I quit everything I'm doing and only dedicated myself to training for that onnnne thing, maybe even someone like ME could be in the 2016 Olympics!"

Ummm....yeah...no.  Probably not.

"Ammmmmerica! Fuck Yeah!"

I think these people are so cool because they 100%  give themselves to the love of their sport.  They train day in, and day out, just for that chance to maybe someday achieve their dreams.  I actually know two Olympians, [Demetrius Pinder (Track & Field for the Bahamas Note: Demetrius won the Gold medal for the Bahamas in the Men's 4X400m Final on Aug.10, 2012), and Amini Fonua (Swimming for Tonga)] and their life is tottttally different from the one I live.  Demetrius trains for several hours a day, 6 days a week.  I asked him what I could do about the impact my knees were taking from my own running.  His answer?  Run on grass. Simple!  Do I do it? NO. I run on cement most of the time and eat cereal all damn day.

One time during a 10-minute break for our 3-hour writing class, Amini bought trail mix from the vending machine - and only ate the almonds.  (He threw away the rest.  I cringed at the sight of those yummy  looking M&M's landing in the trash!) He always brought healthy snacks and water, while I ate gummy bears and Cheetos.

I bet those gloves make it hard to scratch an itchy nose.

Are these two kids really that much different from me? Well, no and yes.  They're both very, very funny, and are really down to earth guys.  So, no, not much different.  But, they have such a mentality that allows them to push their bodies to their absolute best, and sacrifice (well, maybe for them exercise and being healthy isn't a "sacrifice" haha) a lot to maintain a high level of performance in the things they care so much about.  So yes, very different, since I have to pretty much guilt myself into working out and usually quit when it's "good enough". 

How sad is that?! Imagine if everyone stopped at "good enough":

- "Hmm, this surgeon didn't stitch up all the tissue around the heart....eh. Good enough."

- "These shorts don't cover my entire ass...but it's just Grandma's house. Good enough."

- "Well, two of our three kids aren't addicted to crack. Good enough."

See what I mean?  If we can do better....then why don't we?

USA! USA! USA!  Beef jerky time!

All I'm sayin' is, at the current moment, I'm way too lazy to be an Olympian. I'm too lazy to even date one.  Hell, I'm too lazy to date a regular person. I'm even too lazy to even pretend I'm dating.

You know what, let's not talk about dating. That's easier.

I guess all this really leads up to is (once again...) how awesome these people are, from all over the world.  Everyone's got an inner awesome.  And apparently everyone's got a McDonald's, because it's been an Olympic sponsor for about 35 years, which I find SUPER ironic. It's like, "Hey, let's have the unhealthiest obese-inducing fast food joint in the entire fucking world sponsor the most prestigious worldwide athletic event held only every four years!"

Sheer brilliance!

Anyway, I think I've rambled enough about the Olympics and my inability to get off the couch.  Go Team USA, and God Bless America!  The most ass-kicking country in the world! ;)

...

P.S. - I was in London a little over a year ago. It was smashing! This pic is kind of pixelated for some weird reason, but it was taken inside the London Eye. You can see "Big Ben" in the background =)  Not photoshopped!