Photoshop Friday Presents: Betty White is My Homegurl

Betty is my twin, my homegurl.  The resemblance is uncanny!

It's not really a secret anymore, but I'm a little confused as to why TMZ hasn't called me yet for a story.  

Yes, Betty White is my twin.

I know, I know.  Some people don't see it, but CLEARLY they are Off Their Rockers. (By the way, have you seen that show?! It is HILARIOUS.  I highly, highly recommend it! It's pretty much a show about older folks playing pranks on everyone. Like Punk'd, but with more scooters.)

Anyways, Betty White is 90 years old, and still up and kickin' ass in the entertainment industry.  I love that.  We're good friends - I call Betty up on my speed-dial-O-Meter (filed under "Hoodrat Mama") if I want a night out clubbing.  She's 90, but she can show me up on that "stanky leg" every time  Don't let that "Ohh, I'm old" deal fool you; that girl's got some game, too.  Like, if we were pieces of a chess set, Betty White would be the queen, doing whatevvvver the hell she wants all the damn time to keep her king AND get yours; everyone else is the little pawn pieces that suck at everything.

But seriously, not only does Betty White love what she does, people all over really love her, too.  She has been able to keep up with this remarkable career for several decades.  It's pretty hardcore.  In 2010, Facebookers even launched a campaign to have her host Saturday Night Live - and SNL producer Lorne Michaels agreed!

It was two of my favorite things put together: SNL and BETTY!

Bump dat stereo, guuuuurl

I'm pretty sure this episode is still up on Hulu.com if anyone is interested in seeing the lady in action.

What this all leads up to is my infinite love for, not only comedy, but women in comedy.  It's fascinating, so much so, that I've written several of my college research papers about it (mostly Commedia dell'Arte in its historical beginnings/prime, but who's looking?).  All my life, I've wanted to be like Molly Shannon, Ellen Degeneres, Lucille Ball, Kristen Wiig, Carol Burnett, Amy Poehler, the cast of Steel Magnolias/ The Golden Girls, and many, many others.   

"Please God, forgive me for not telling Slater that I went to the bathroom in the pool tonight."

Isn't it refreshing to see funny women captivate the world?  Women can joke on an entirely different level than men, too.  Not to bang on the buck, but men can sometimes lean towards the overly sexual/offensive in their comedy bits to get a few cheap-shot chuckles in, but these ladies can command the laugh without even smudging their lipstick.  They all deserve big, shiny trophies! 

 ...Or, at the very, very least, pet monkeys trained to feed them grapes and open the mail.

Right now, I can only photoshop myself as/with funny hot mess babes like Betty White.  But, someday, that funny hot mess babe could be me. 

Or my dog, Daisy.  That bitch is funny.