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| " She was a one-legged prostitute. See? Ah, she had a good sense of humour though." -Jack |
Some people don't like Titanic. I am among the percentage that does. No matter how long that movie is, it's always worth pausing to make the potty breaks. It's a great Romeo-Juliet story (Hmm...R for Rose/Romeo and J for Jack/Juliet?...looking too much into it, maybe?), with beautiful, BEAUTIFUL costuming, set design, and cinematography, to say the very least. Plus, Leo DiCaprio showed me what highlights can do for hair. To put it this way, if Titanic were a man, I'd want to make it pancakes.
Anyway, I was writing some stuff down in a spiral notebook the other night about something I have noticed about popular culture; we, the little Earthlings that gaze at the shiny stars - no, not of the sky, but the silver screen - are obsessed with wanting to be with these actors/fictional characters. I, too, am guilty of this. (You can see below that my celebrity obsession is Darren Criss, but I don't want to go on to a tangent until after I explain how Titanic is involved with this.)
Let's be honest. Think of your top 5 celebrity crushes at the moment. Okay, now picture yourself at the grocery store. While waiting in line to pay for all those items that somehow snuck into your basket even though they weren't on your list of "eggs, bread, milk", you catch a glimpse of a magazine. Somewhere on the cover, BEHOLD! Your celebrity crush. You don't want to pick it up because gossip mags are for the desperate.
LIES.
You DO want to pick it up, because you want to see that rockin' beach body, and scan the pages, then put it back and not buy it, pretending not to care.
LIES.
We love them because we saw them in a movie. We love them because they sing that song like if it was for you. We love them because they are funny/cute/sexy/just broke up with that skank. For whatever reason it is, we are captivated by the idea of what it'd be like to be with them. 5 hours of stalking Google and Youtube later, we are hooked.
I call this "The Jack Dawson Phenomenon". The year was 1997: Leonardo DiCaprio comes on the screen, says a few words, sketches a naked picture of his love and then sacrifices his life for the same love, freezing to death in the icy waters as she floats on the big-enough-for-two door. Titanic sweeps the world. Suddenly, a million girls instantly decided that Leo/Jack is the image of perfection. Suddenly, Leo is thrown into a life of women (maybe men, too) passionately, obsessively worshiping him as their future husband/everything they'd want their probably less-beautiful husbands to be. ...Yeah. That's the "Jack Dawson Phenomenon".
Other men of this Jack Dawson heartthrob status (from observations): Ryan Gosling (The Notebook), Darren Criss (Glee), Robert Pattinson (Twilight), and Johnny Depp (Pirates), to name only a few.
Women have experienced this craze of love-struck followers, too. Just ask Kim Kardashian.
But really, who cares? What's wrong with a little crush? It's not like we're calling their personal cell phone asking what type of blue dinner napkins we should order for our destination wedding in Hawaii. But is it healthy? Who knows. Probably not; especially in America, where obesity is a big "fuck you" to healthy. (There should be more important things on our plate to worry about right now. Literally.)
In the end, however, I suppose it's all alright. Let us be on the Titanic with Jack Dawson. Let us be romanced and teased and running around with a guy who claims to be king of the world. But also, let us be prepared for when that ship sinks. It isn't real; sure, we can enjoy it, we just can't let our life revolve around them, or compromise who we are because of who they are (example: "I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops." -Mean Girls).
...Still, if Darren Criss asked me to marry him under the condition that I train 100 squirrels to dance the cha-cha...I probably wouldn't say no. Those squirrels would put Dancing with the Stars to shame. I'd do this, happily, because the sad truth is:
I'm a victim of Jack Dawson.
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| Hot damn, Darren Criss, you FINE. |
LIES.
You DO want to pick it up, because you want to see that rockin' beach body, and scan the pages, then put it back and not buy it, pretending not to care.
LIES.
We love them because we saw them in a movie. We love them because they sing that song like if it was for you. We love them because they are funny/cute/sexy/just broke up with that skank. For whatever reason it is, we are captivated by the idea of what it'd be like to be with them. 5 hours of stalking Google and Youtube later, we are hooked.
I call this "The Jack Dawson Phenomenon". The year was 1997: Leonardo DiCaprio comes on the screen, says a few words, sketches a naked picture of his love and then sacrifices his life for the same love, freezing to death in the icy waters as she floats on the big-enough-for-two door. Titanic sweeps the world. Suddenly, a million girls instantly decided that Leo/Jack is the image of perfection. Suddenly, Leo is thrown into a life of women (maybe men, too) passionately, obsessively worshiping him as their future husband/everything they'd want their probably less-beautiful husbands to be. ...Yeah. That's the "Jack Dawson Phenomenon".
Other men of this Jack Dawson heartthrob status (from observations): Ryan Gosling (The Notebook), Darren Criss (Glee), Robert Pattinson (Twilight), and Johnny Depp (Pirates), to name only a few.
Women have experienced this craze of love-struck followers, too. Just ask Kim Kardashian.
But really, who cares? What's wrong with a little crush? It's not like we're calling their personal cell phone asking what type of blue dinner napkins we should order for our destination wedding in Hawaii. But is it healthy? Who knows. Probably not; especially in America, where obesity is a big "fuck you" to healthy. (There should be more important things on our plate to worry about right now. Literally.)
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| Yes, I photoshopped this. Ahh. Our children would be ridiculously good-looking. |
...Still, if Darren Criss asked me to marry him under the condition that I train 100 squirrels to dance the cha-cha...I probably wouldn't say no. Those squirrels would put Dancing with the Stars to shame. I'd do this, happily, because the sad truth is:
I'm a victim of Jack Dawson.
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